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No. 37 
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No. 37
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Turn Webcam In Spy Cam
realize
yesterday I
reading in the f-nac as expected, spirituality and psychology books and such, I read a lot lately on this topic for helping a little to myself, knowing that is what happens if we assume according to my parents that I have everything, and still suffered, and suffer me Sinet guilty because if I have everything and should be fine ... yesterday I
then my aunt is leaving me books and such (say it is the person she is coming to understand me now and tell me things that hit the nail) and yesterday I read this poem about realizing things, and not go esque much with what happens to me, but I did thank you very much, I'll post here, and I hope someone Dirven, is a Tibetan monk I think.
I woke up one morning,
leave my house,
there is a hole in the sidewalk
not see it,
and fall on it.
Next Day ...
leave my house,
I forget that there is a hole in the sidewalk
and I fall into it.
Third day,
leave my house around trying to remember
that there is a hole in the sidewalk
however,
do not remember,
and fall into it.
Fourth day,
leave my house trying to remember
well on the sidewalk
remember,
and do not see well
and fall into it.
Fifth day,
leave my house,
memory I have Keep in mind
well on the sidewalk
and walk looking at the floor,
and see
despite him,
fall on it.
Sixth day,
leave my house,
remember the hole in the sidewalk
I looked around,
see it,
tries to jump
and fall into it.
Seventh Day
leave my house,
see the hole, took
career
jump, grazed the tips of my feet on edge Furthermore,
but not enough and fall into it.
Eighth Day,
leave my house,
see the hole, took
career
jump came
the other side!
I feel so proud to have achieved,
that celebration jumping for joy ...
And in doing so, fall back into the well.
Ninth day
leave my house,
see the hole, took
career
jump
and continue my way.
Tenth day
I realize
only now that it is easier
walk ...
the street.
INTERVIEW today also on my aunt, I have to ditch my mind this takes a chaos, so sudden fevers and being bad this year so many times, the sink for any bullshit, not hopes up with anything, those fears that I have .. and many more ... so every time I'm more determined to start going to the psychologist this and see if you put some order in my mind because it is chaotic for a year.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Play With Tech Decks Online
.--.- --.----> target bingo!
not remember, once someone recommended me, I guess last year cuanod pass everything that happens, put a huge target in my room, and every time I was down throw a dart to see if it was full, and then I would feel good, I resigned to make it, I saw a nonsense in my state, where the only thing I wanted was to arrive this morning filled with light that spoke to me every day my parents, but now I regret it, because that day came a day light and now everything becomes dark, fears met again, I feel idiotic, so I'm going to buy a target, and next year will be filled darts.
Yesterday was one of the worst days I've spent my whole life, I was more scared than ever, and still am seeing that despite what everyone tells me I am unable to make my own happiness, but I lock myself in an imaginary world where I think it is so long I've been looking for that light, I empezadoa read me a book on psychology, where the psychologist bucai jorge moron called me for being me, dependent, if a part of one of my faults, very young I always depend on one person, and I feel abandoned if the person starts to walk away even a little, which I understand, because alomejor that person is not dependent like me and less of a someone so boring and bland as I can be at times, but I can not help feeling how I felt yesterday ... and much of the echo that I am idiot, but still not why, I guess these biological things of which I do not understand because I am a father of letters, but there are thousands person around me, trying to make me smile, the only ones who can get are the person you depend on, or my family
my family is now in a separate case, are now my aunts that I are recommending that I have all day over to see how I am, my aunt Angeles, Madrid nothing more and nothing less, apart from being dedicated toys'rus secretary in his spare time to help tannins with cancer and terminally ill, I see as a kind of magician, it is capable of capturing energy and transmitirtela and it has gone very very wrong in his life, helped me cuanod was there, and I said I had to be happy, but if I'm trying! but sometimes life itself gives me back ... even so she keeps calling me every day, with the danger that one day the boss caught calling to see how I am, and I want to be good just for her, because never a person in my family had as much concern for me ...
after this my aunt Maria sea, which apart from its beautiful name, has two young children whom I adore, she also realized it was wrong, and not be afraid of many already know, and I regret very much that many know, but for the huge mess of things so that my mind is forming evil with that theme, with what is happening, because it has been mixed with everything I had before, and they like it or not, and does not receive much help, either from the person you depend on, or my family, Voya enter zombie state very tiempo.pues her little yesterday watching that little thing I burst into tears, I said he could not continue with this mess of things, both told me that the dream I have is psychological, because evade the reality that both scares me, and it is true, and I can not go on like this, because sleep because I've had worse grades this year, I recommended a psychologist, which I go every Friday in September to see if I fix something
and yet, today I woke up upset with life, and myself, because this being the worst week of my life, because I need to smile before I leave town again on Wednesday, and I will not get it ...
and you know why? because, according to Jorge Bucay'm a moron ... and this moron you are doing the same damage as last year with one of their most dreaded fears ... and as much as I think, that fear is somewhat outdated, if nobody help to overcome it, I like the head and l more ...
know? I did not ask the wise men to be dependent, I asked for a Iphone.
not remember, once someone recommended me, I guess last year cuanod pass everything that happens, put a huge target in my room, and every time I was down throw a dart to see if it was full, and then I would feel good, I resigned to make it, I saw a nonsense in my state, where the only thing I wanted was to arrive this morning filled with light that spoke to me every day my parents, but now I regret it, because that day came a day light and now everything becomes dark, fears met again, I feel idiotic, so I'm going to buy a target, and next year will be filled darts.
Yesterday was one of the worst days I've spent my whole life, I was more scared than ever, and still am seeing that despite what everyone tells me I am unable to make my own happiness, but I lock myself in an imaginary world where I think it is so long I've been looking for that light, I empezadoa read me a book on psychology, where the psychologist bucai jorge moron called me for being me, dependent, if a part of one of my faults, very young I always depend on one person, and I feel abandoned if the person starts to walk away even a little, which I understand, because alomejor that person is not dependent like me and less of a someone so boring and bland as I can be at times, but I can not help feeling how I felt yesterday ... and much of the echo that I am idiot, but still not why, I guess these biological things of which I do not understand because I am a father of letters, but there are thousands person around me, trying to make me smile, the only ones who can get are the person you depend on, or my family
my family is now in a separate case, are now my aunts that I are recommending that I have all day over to see how I am, my aunt Angeles, Madrid nothing more and nothing less, apart from being dedicated toys'rus secretary in his spare time to help tannins with cancer and terminally ill, I see as a kind of magician, it is capable of capturing energy and transmitirtela and it has gone very very wrong in his life, helped me cuanod was there, and I said I had to be happy, but if I'm trying! but sometimes life itself gives me back ... even so she keeps calling me every day, with the danger that one day the boss caught calling to see how I am, and I want to be good just for her, because never a person in my family had as much concern for me ...
after this my aunt Maria sea, which apart from its beautiful name, has two young children whom I adore, she also realized it was wrong, and not be afraid of many already know, and I regret very much that many know, but for the huge mess of things so that my mind is forming evil with that theme, with what is happening, because it has been mixed with everything I had before, and they like it or not, and does not receive much help, either from the person you depend on, or my family, Voya enter zombie state very tiempo.pues her little yesterday watching that little thing I burst into tears, I said he could not continue with this mess of things, both told me that the dream I have is psychological, because evade the reality that both scares me, and it is true, and I can not go on like this, because sleep because I've had worse grades this year, I recommended a psychologist, which I go every Friday in September to see if I fix something
and yet, today I woke up upset with life, and myself, because this being the worst week of my life, because I need to smile before I leave town again on Wednesday, and I will not get it ...
and you know why? because, according to Jorge Bucay'm a moron ... and this moron you are doing the same damage as last year with one of their most dreaded fears ... and as much as I think, that fear is somewhat outdated, if nobody help to overcome it, I like the head and l more ...
know? I did not ask the wise men to be dependent, I asked for a Iphone.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Formal Way Address Wedding Invitations
suteki da ne ~ ~
my game as you know, is that most influenced my life, I'm bad and boring game I need to vent game, and now I want play and not ... so I puestoa watch videos, there are two scenes of the game that kills me, and although I do not like video games and this kind of thing, I recommend that you see, at least the second (the uan romanticism first is good that I still cry when I was veoT_T and the dialogues to memory) the second, good advice to smile ...^^ I always say at least, and certainly a lso that ye ^ ^ ill help you
let's go to Zanarkand together!
seriously, to reach this part of the game, you have to kill for two months with a head ... but ... oh diosT___T
I learn to smile, When I feeling sad ...
you laugh at the pair of them .. ^ ^ I seriously love ...^^* if you ever get lost, whistle, I'll go running, I promise
...*
will also make the opening because the music ... cool xD Ramstein and opening itself because it is milk, so know her a new sport ...
an otherworld wait you!
seriously, although it does so conozcis, although it does you like the game, behold these scenes, because you will make out a smile ..
finally a video with a beautiful song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlwSPMwAqbM
* is not it beautiful? join our hands and walk again, I would go the way of your home in your arms, that chest stored in your body, sleep ... night after night confuses me ...*
au revoir! 
my game as you know, is that most influenced my life, I'm bad and boring game I need to vent game, and now I want play and not ... so I puestoa watch videos, there are two scenes of the game that kills me, and although I do not like video games and this kind of thing, I recommend that you see, at least the second (the uan romanticism first is good that I still cry when I was veoT_T and the dialogues to memory) the second, good advice to smile ...^^ I always say at least, and certainly a lso that ye ^ ^ ill help you
let's go to Zanarkand together!
seriously, to reach this part of the game, you have to kill for two months with a head ... but ... oh diosT___T
I learn to smile, When I feeling sad ...
you laugh at the pair of them .. ^ ^ I seriously love ...^^* if you ever get lost, whistle, I'll go running, I promise
...*
will also make the opening because the music ... cool xD Ramstein and opening itself because it is milk, so know her a new sport ...
an otherworld wait you!
seriously, although it does so conozcis, although it does you like the game, behold these scenes, because you will make out a smile ..
finally a video with a beautiful song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xlwSPMwAqbM
* is not it beautiful? join our hands and walk again, I would go the way of your home in your arms, that chest stored in your body, sleep ... night after night confuses me ...*
au revoir!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Good Prices On Used Lacrosse Gear
a birthday, that both parties do not forget
not usually write about my life I know, but today, I'm attacked first, half asleep, then took two sleepless nights enciam XD and this Saturday was my birthday and I want to dedicate an entry ^ ^ although it will not read even half of the people here nombrareT_T
people who know me know I can be very oversensitive, I take importance of the things that do not, sometimes I can drown in a glass of water, I'm a pessimist, and some think that faking a smile when someone is wrong is the worst thing I can do ...
with my pessimistic attitude in me plant this week, thinking that my birthday as the past, not paint too well, sometimes I forget that I have people that love me, and today it is dedicated to these people, because sometimes I thought that they were going to be there, and for me the best gift was get me a real smile, each in his way, he has been one of my best birthday, and I tell ^ ^
well as not really summarize the day ... so I will appoint people there were, and did I remember this weekend as the best
first appoints a friend, whom I have had for two years, and although sometimes longer show signs of life, although I perhaps not read this unless it happens, you deserve it, because I have endured hours until 6 am, because it was the first to see my pessimistic attitude told me I'm home alone, come and do not be depressed !, because even her boyfriend, who knew not only has been encouraging, and really not what I expected, this guy is eloy ...
because on Saturday, although I get busted laughing with him, talking with him, I took a picture that one day erase ¬ ¬ treated me like a real guest, because I had never slept with him, and I liked it to be chatting at 5 and a half, because I had never spoken with so much and such varied topics, because I was funny how concerned he was that was OK, yesterday made a pizza and the poor thing was wrong was not to be seriously bad xD I owe Mr Hair azul.porque I'm glad you trust me, and because teagradecere this weekend ^ ^
always second, and no less deserved, and I know she did not expect to be here, is moon, if a person you've known nothing but that on Saturday also made me laugh really, this time with plush took me a few laughs, and I liked it, plus I I've been reading all my nonsense ...^^" day had to thank you, and ^ ^ I hope to meet more
third, Jose, my brother, who also turned 17 on Saturday, and I also had fun with a lot on Saturday, is always apologizing, I want a lot, and from the blog also wish you happiness because this fable of the wasp came Xd lso because your joke was horrible XD 20 stories a day and because we both will become frapuchinos strawberry!
XD mayu fourth place because today I Descojonado with her and her fantastic interpretation of Gypsy XDDDDDDDDDDD from that nonsense with the bear maribel chuchurrio not laugh at me that way XD seriously, join this group to play because you milk, because I know I've also worried about me this week because you deserve it, because despite our discussions dumb know that I love, and you continue so for fun XD XDDD scandalous lady with laughter, you too lu this post XD I give you too with your "Ofu mama" you killed me XDDDD Have fun in London
bitch XD Fifthly July santi ^ ^ The first is that these echo sucks, but life goes on, I've glad to have you on my birthday, besides your gifts ^ ^ I loved your book and your egg "I love an egg" XD you know that I laughed too, and I want you, I want to be happy, and never more you're wrong, you do well, because seriously, you deserve it
santi: you too thank you, you already know well that you are the best people I've met in my life and I hope you try it the next time the poor egg and ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ not bite I do not care what you're prowling the ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ snetimientos also has serious, I'm so glad you were there ^ ^ I hope the Next year also're here, and that you remain happy, because you deserve it
and sixth and last place ^ ^ region: another person who also know little, but with today also I laughed a lot, I think that deserved a sitito people here ^ ^
seriously, back on Tuesday chipiona with a smile, thank you, hope ue desaparezcais not ever ... I love you.
not usually write about my life I know, but today, I'm attacked first, half asleep, then took two sleepless nights enciam XD and this Saturday was my birthday and I want to dedicate an entry ^ ^ although it will not read even half of the people here nombrareT_T
people who know me know I can be very oversensitive, I take importance of the things that do not, sometimes I can drown in a glass of water, I'm a pessimist, and some think that faking a smile when someone is wrong is the worst thing I can do ...
with my pessimistic attitude in me plant this week, thinking that my birthday as the past, not paint too well, sometimes I forget that I have people that love me, and today it is dedicated to these people, because sometimes I thought that they were going to be there, and for me the best gift was get me a real smile, each in his way, he has been one of my best birthday, and I tell ^ ^
well as not really summarize the day ... so I will appoint people there were, and did I remember this weekend as the best
first appoints a friend, whom I have had for two years, and although sometimes longer show signs of life, although I perhaps not read this unless it happens, you deserve it, because I have endured hours until 6 am, because it was the first to see my pessimistic attitude told me I'm home alone, come and do not be depressed !, because even her boyfriend, who knew not only has been encouraging, and really not what I expected, this guy is eloy ...
because on Saturday, although I get busted laughing with him, talking with him, I took a picture that one day erase ¬ ¬ treated me like a real guest, because I had never slept with him, and I liked it to be chatting at 5 and a half, because I had never spoken with so much and such varied topics, because I was funny how concerned he was that was OK, yesterday made a pizza and the poor thing was wrong was not to be seriously bad xD I owe Mr Hair azul.porque I'm glad you trust me, and because teagradecere this weekend ^ ^
always second, and no less deserved, and I know she did not expect to be here, is moon, if a person you've known nothing but that on Saturday also made me laugh really, this time with plush took me a few laughs, and I liked it, plus I I've been reading all my nonsense ...^^" day had to thank you, and ^ ^ I hope to meet more
third, Jose, my brother, who also turned 17 on Saturday, and I also had fun with a lot on Saturday, is always apologizing, I want a lot, and from the blog also wish you happiness because this fable of the wasp came Xd lso because your joke was horrible XD 20 stories a day and because we both will become frapuchinos strawberry!
XD mayu fourth place because today I Descojonado with her and her fantastic interpretation of Gypsy XDDDDDDDDDDD from that nonsense with the bear maribel chuchurrio not laugh at me that way XD seriously, join this group to play because you milk, because I know I've also worried about me this week because you deserve it, because despite our discussions dumb know that I love, and you continue so for fun XD XDDD scandalous lady with laughter, you too lu this post XD I give you too with your "Ofu mama" you killed me XDDDD Have fun in London
bitch XD Fifthly July santi ^ ^ The first is that these echo sucks, but life goes on, I've glad to have you on my birthday, besides your gifts ^ ^ I loved your book and your egg "I love an egg" XD you know that I laughed too, and I want you, I want to be happy, and never more you're wrong, you do well, because seriously, you deserve it
santi: you too thank you, you already know well that you are the best people I've met in my life and I hope you try it the next time the poor egg and ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ not bite I do not care what you're prowling the ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ snetimientos also has serious, I'm so glad you were there ^ ^ I hope the Next year also're here, and that you remain happy, because you deserve it
and sixth and last place ^ ^ region: another person who also know little, but with today also I laughed a lot, I think that deserved a sitito people here ^ ^
seriously, back on Tuesday chipiona with a smile, thank you, hope ue desaparezcais not ever ... I love you.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Deals For Family Of 8 To Disney World
as a person, you can change your life in 8 years ... (post dedicated to a person who never read it) is like live chess
I thought for months, writing about it, because it hurts even the memory, a memory that I thought it was nice to remember, but yesterday when I left here on the beach, I felt like she had nailed me a thousand needles hurt like the first time, hurt like that day ... I
without leaving home every time I come, afraid to remember, and that fear was fulfilled yesterday, was out ... and do not enjoy the ride ... and I decided to vent here, few people know much the greatest tragedy in my life, some know that my mother might kill me if I read this here, because he knows that even the wrong way, without knowing the true po to, but I need relief, and I hope you read .. and tell me what you think, by One day, my story.
the people of my parents is Chipiona, a small place hidden in cadiz that people seem to like much utrera, still do not know why , from small resort here, and I had friends because when I was little, I approached people to know, a friend who had not shared much with me so we just fought, one stop watching, and one day, bored I guess, gave me a bath, and two girls approached who happily played on the water, I was 8 years ...
those girls played "the dolphins" and I decided to join, so I met two new friends, Ana and maribel ... Ana
not well with maribel task brings to which I completely captured in the knowledge, they came every day at the beach with me, unmistakable when I arrived the beach was going to look for his two coletitas, I guess even though I think not, since I was little I fell in love your smile ...
invented thousands of games, at first my brother also came to play sometimes, lso play with stuffed animals on the beach, to break rocks in the small oasis, invented secret passwords so that no one approached us, we played with my playmobil Cousin, throw fabricated love letters to the neighbors ... it really started to enjoy myself when I met her, also seemed to have uan kind family, his mother, although it restricted many of the things with me, I was However, when I could stay with her on the beach invited me to eat, and when she could not cum home we were going to stay with his aunt who was also near my house ... we were hooked on the game boy with our pokemon games ... was the first person to take so much, when he returned to Utrecht and did not see it until you next year in summer, despite living in Sevilla ...
one of our crazy, I guess it was a way to hide, was to invent our own world, one day, while we swam, we decided to take characters from series or movies, she was legolas lord of the rings, I was tommy a werewolf in a series ...
years passed .. and thus the activities on the beach, the clown who was burned, the games, it was summer risas.deseaba to see it again ... plus the game was moving forward with our age, we put characters from harry potter, also came to my house is only we play this game fully absorbed ... uan just forming imaginary couple, I was tidus of final fantasy X, she was a moon, an invented character who I loved so well in fiction, as in the fact my little sister by little marching, our games became more intimate, to the extent that I say act like a couple cuanod play, except kisses ... and do not know what I regret that last ...
7 years passed, and I already have my 15 years, I go alone to Seville, so I take a whole year being with her every day, last summer was lso Best Available in my life, I learned to plead in a game! but for me that statement was true, I knew what it was like sleeping with a person wanted to come home and never got the time I had to leave, we invent new partners in the game ... Kirtash and crystal, edward iris .. our dear cloud ... I still remember her lovely voice, making each one of etsos characters, uan \u200b\u200bfantasy more real than fiction ...
remember the day of the communion of my cousin, came to utrera, we stayed up late watching hannibal, while spending a virgin prosecion of consolation, then we slept, the two holding hands, I remember how he would ask edward the biting, and found that one of my weak points of the body is the neck ...
wanted to go every Friday to Seville, she met me at the English court, I remember his call of 3 hours ... their nightmares, one day told me he had dreamed that I killed, but that she was coming down the front and shot him her too because if I could not live, if I die she would die too ... I was saved from death on one occasion ... and always told him that he owed his life, that day I was in danger not hesitate in whistling, which I would be there ...
but like everyone says, nothing is forever ... after all the days together, one day sitting on a park slides lso sevilla ... talking about how it would be if in fact we were together, one day msn me wonder if we could not really kiss in the game ... but I was scared to death to think of losing it to begin a relationship, she would not stop dropping hints, like: two friends of mine as they kiss in the classroom and not nothing happened to them .. and such ...
and I was stupid, idiot, and preferably not even grasp not because ... when I was dying for her eyes, her smile ... see a lost memory of his on the phone, his memory for a comment on my fotolog , to be seen as connected to the messenger ...
She and I made a mistake so great that cost 8 years of friendship or something more ...
it, not even proque, took money to parents, and gave me things, but very expensive things, sometimes we went to the manga shop here and told me I buy what I want it paid! I told him no, but insisted, and I get used to these comforts, and comes on two occasions to ask for money .. knowing it was the parents ... that was my mistake ...
on Sunday May 25, 2008, I spent the whole day talking on the phone with her at night, I thought, and I really realized that I had fallen in love, he needed ...
on Monday May 26 ... try to call but did not answer my calls, I sent a text message ... and no answer ... I started to worry, and at 7 pm I received a sms:
"nana I have caught, do not ask me my BJD, sorry for not replying, was with the police "
came and my world was over, knew their parents, so they could kill her! and scare me, yet not scare away my ...
the call the next day, I found out that he had lied to poluicia uan telling history without rhyme or reason, that I had lied to me telling me that same story, yet I doubt if I lied on something else in your life ...
the following weeks were endless, I sometimes called, talked very little, and was becoming more distant, and my soul and my heart was dying more and more slowly, until the day I call home and told me his mother maribel was punished, and could not talk to her ... I thought it would be a punishment that would not last long ... as much a month or two ...
July 1 went to London, before I received a sms from him the phone from his mother, telling me that I would have gone well, and that he would call me throughout the week to come back to talk to me .. I'm still waiting for that call that I clarify what has happened from here ...
returned from London, and brought him a gift, a stuffed teddy bear of the royal guard ... but could not contact her in any way ... ... I met his mother on the beach and told em I was home punished with bad face ...
the day of my birthday, after much lso angeles ask to talk to her one last time I found it the day of my birthday ... and I welcome, a simple wave ... and goodbye.
and was spending the summer, I did not want to leave home without it also bored me, was fatal, as I I say, was measured zombie state ...
one day, my mother got me to come down to the beach, I remember being cut in the leg well to depilarmelas, and down to the beach half bleeding, I sat down and his mother came ... and went to talk to my mother, who owed him a list of prices of the things I had bought her daughter ... not like, just what a huge topic, and the mother said "your daughter does not return to see maribel" and I collapse, I could not believe it! I was robbing someone my heart!! a person was carrying my life! my soul! my girl!! was the first time to cry in public ... since that day I bundled up, and did not come out ... I spend a enterito final fantasy (which is impossible for me) and returned to Utrecht, and what I wanted was to talk to her and explain to me because the situation had changed so much in a few months ... if I had not miss much ...
plant me in your school the day I started .. I still remember his face when he saw me there, is the last memory I have of her ... give you a letter with my feelings ... I told him if he wanted to return answer to me as I was ... but no answer ... I went back to get him in the center that day ... and not look at me ...
that was that .... then try talking to her through fotolog ... but neither got ... and I said I would overcome, that a girl who I miss so much damage had I deserved ... but it is so hard ... I have not yet achieved ...
This episode has generated a lot of fear in me .... I'm much heavier now, because I have a fear of abandonment ... fear that a friend suddenly leave em ... for something I do not know ... I have also
very afraid to express my feelings, because I have a fear of returning to stay as is em last summer ...
and worst ... esque no one was with me at that time also ... so I've become stronger, and I am very reluctant to make new friends ... but promised not to fall and fell ...
gentlemen .. this is the biggest bitch I have made life ... and the worst .. esque still not happy with everything that made me go, I continues to mourn ...
I thought for months, writing about it, because it hurts even the memory, a memory that I thought it was nice to remember, but yesterday when I left here on the beach, I felt like she had nailed me a thousand needles hurt like the first time, hurt like that day ... I
without leaving home every time I come, afraid to remember, and that fear was fulfilled yesterday, was out ... and do not enjoy the ride ... and I decided to vent here, few people know much the greatest tragedy in my life, some know that my mother might kill me if I read this here, because he knows that even the wrong way, without knowing the true po to, but I need relief, and I hope you read .. and tell me what you think, by One day, my story.
the people of my parents is Chipiona, a small place hidden in cadiz that people seem to like much utrera, still do not know why , from small resort here, and I had friends because when I was little, I approached people to know, a friend who had not shared much with me so we just fought, one stop watching, and one day, bored I guess, gave me a bath, and two girls approached who happily played on the water, I was 8 years ...
those girls played "the dolphins" and I decided to join, so I met two new friends, Ana and maribel ... Ana
not well with maribel task brings to which I completely captured in the knowledge, they came every day at the beach with me, unmistakable when I arrived the beach was going to look for his two coletitas, I guess even though I think not, since I was little I fell in love your smile ...
invented thousands of games, at first my brother also came to play sometimes, lso play with stuffed animals on the beach, to break rocks in the small oasis, invented secret passwords so that no one approached us, we played with my playmobil Cousin, throw fabricated love letters to the neighbors ... it really started to enjoy myself when I met her, also seemed to have uan kind family, his mother, although it restricted many of the things with me, I was However, when I could stay with her on the beach invited me to eat, and when she could not cum home we were going to stay with his aunt who was also near my house ... we were hooked on the game boy with our pokemon games ... was the first person to take so much, when he returned to Utrecht and did not see it until you next year in summer, despite living in Sevilla ...
one of our crazy, I guess it was a way to hide, was to invent our own world, one day, while we swam, we decided to take characters from series or movies, she was legolas lord of the rings, I was tommy a werewolf in a series ...
years passed .. and thus the activities on the beach, the clown who was burned, the games, it was summer risas.deseaba to see it again ... plus the game was moving forward with our age, we put characters from harry potter, also came to my house is only we play this game fully absorbed ... uan just forming imaginary couple, I was tidus of final fantasy X, she was a moon, an invented character who I loved so well in fiction, as in the fact my little sister by little marching, our games became more intimate, to the extent that I say act like a couple cuanod play, except kisses ... and do not know what I regret that last ...
7 years passed, and I already have my 15 years, I go alone to Seville, so I take a whole year being with her every day, last summer was lso Best Available in my life, I learned to plead in a game! but for me that statement was true, I knew what it was like sleeping with a person wanted to come home and never got the time I had to leave, we invent new partners in the game ... Kirtash and crystal, edward iris .. our dear cloud ... I still remember her lovely voice, making each one of etsos characters, uan \u200b\u200bfantasy more real than fiction ...
remember the day of the communion of my cousin, came to utrera, we stayed up late watching hannibal, while spending a virgin prosecion of consolation, then we slept, the two holding hands, I remember how he would ask edward the biting, and found that one of my weak points of the body is the neck ...
wanted to go every Friday to Seville, she met me at the English court, I remember his call of 3 hours ... their nightmares, one day told me he had dreamed that I killed, but that she was coming down the front and shot him her too because if I could not live, if I die she would die too ... I was saved from death on one occasion ... and always told him that he owed his life, that day I was in danger not hesitate in whistling, which I would be there ...
but like everyone says, nothing is forever ... after all the days together, one day sitting on a park slides lso sevilla ... talking about how it would be if in fact we were together, one day msn me wonder if we could not really kiss in the game ... but I was scared to death to think of losing it to begin a relationship, she would not stop dropping hints, like: two friends of mine as they kiss in the classroom and not nothing happened to them .. and such ...
and I was stupid, idiot, and preferably not even grasp not because ... when I was dying for her eyes, her smile ... see a lost memory of his on the phone, his memory for a comment on my fotolog , to be seen as connected to the messenger ...
She and I made a mistake so great that cost 8 years of friendship or something more ...
it, not even proque, took money to parents, and gave me things, but very expensive things, sometimes we went to the manga shop here and told me I buy what I want it paid! I told him no, but insisted, and I get used to these comforts, and comes on two occasions to ask for money .. knowing it was the parents ... that was my mistake ...
on Sunday May 25, 2008, I spent the whole day talking on the phone with her at night, I thought, and I really realized that I had fallen in love, he needed ...
on Monday May 26 ... try to call but did not answer my calls, I sent a text message ... and no answer ... I started to worry, and at 7 pm I received a sms:
"nana I have caught, do not ask me my BJD, sorry for not replying, was with the police "
came and my world was over, knew their parents, so they could kill her! and scare me, yet not scare away my ...
the call the next day, I found out that he had lied to poluicia uan telling history without rhyme or reason, that I had lied to me telling me that same story, yet I doubt if I lied on something else in your life ...
the following weeks were endless, I sometimes called, talked very little, and was becoming more distant, and my soul and my heart was dying more and more slowly, until the day I call home and told me his mother maribel was punished, and could not talk to her ... I thought it would be a punishment that would not last long ... as much a month or two ...
July 1 went to London, before I received a sms from him the phone from his mother, telling me that I would have gone well, and that he would call me throughout the week to come back to talk to me .. I'm still waiting for that call that I clarify what has happened from here ...
returned from London, and brought him a gift, a stuffed teddy bear of the royal guard ... but could not contact her in any way ... ... I met his mother on the beach and told em I was home punished with bad face ...
the day of my birthday, after much lso angeles ask to talk to her one last time I found it the day of my birthday ... and I welcome, a simple wave ... and goodbye.
and was spending the summer, I did not want to leave home without it also bored me, was fatal, as I I say, was measured zombie state ...
one day, my mother got me to come down to the beach, I remember being cut in the leg well to depilarmelas, and down to the beach half bleeding, I sat down and his mother came ... and went to talk to my mother, who owed him a list of prices of the things I had bought her daughter ... not like, just what a huge topic, and the mother said "your daughter does not return to see maribel" and I collapse, I could not believe it! I was robbing someone my heart!! a person was carrying my life! my soul! my girl!! was the first time to cry in public ... since that day I bundled up, and did not come out ... I spend a enterito final fantasy (which is impossible for me) and returned to Utrecht, and what I wanted was to talk to her and explain to me because the situation had changed so much in a few months ... if I had not miss much ...
plant me in your school the day I started .. I still remember his face when he saw me there, is the last memory I have of her ... give you a letter with my feelings ... I told him if he wanted to return answer to me as I was ... but no answer ... I went back to get him in the center that day ... and not look at me ...
that was that .... then try talking to her through fotolog ... but neither got ... and I said I would overcome, that a girl who I miss so much damage had I deserved ... but it is so hard ... I have not yet achieved ...
This episode has generated a lot of fear in me .... I'm much heavier now, because I have a fear of abandonment ... fear that a friend suddenly leave em ... for something I do not know ... I have also
very afraid to express my feelings, because I have a fear of returning to stay as is em last summer ...
and worst ... esque no one was with me at that time also ... so I've become stronger, and I am very reluctant to make new friends ... but promised not to fall and fell ...
gentlemen .. this is the biggest bitch I have made life ... and the worst .. esque still not happy with everything that made me go, I continues to mourn ...
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Sauna For Gays En New Jersey
yesterday, was one of the many days that I get to put the mind to think ... and do not know how or why, ending with the conclusion that life itself is a game of chess where the destination is the king, queen fear, and we just pawns.
a chess game, start an orderly, well-placed chips, and your enthusiasm to win that game even if it lasts days, how life begins but equal? born with a desire to eat the world, born without problems of any kind, and some are even born with the lost game.
as a chess game progresses, small obstacles arise that prevent us from the king, the knight, bishop, a game can screw us in a moment of forgetfulness, where eagerness to protect the king.
in life, as we grow, problems also arise, the loss of a relative, the loss of a great friend, the loss of the person to whom we give our heart, we lose things, and are increasingly difficult , as in starting uan we lose our chips, and each time we put it more difficult to win.
then comes the moment in which a bad decision, your game is almost gone adrift, or you put things more difficult, what makes you think better your moves, before moving one of your pieces, like in our lives, we made mistakes, we have echo much thought as to act before a similar situation, or even for that decision, we lost our life, accident, catch a plane better than another, one day you stepped into the street, and suddenly ran into a gang of criminals on the run, you ran into on the way ... one day when a train operated cojes .. and especially since that day we were late and missed the train!
you made a wrong decision too soon and lost a great friend ... and sometimes as much as we act, that we lost most of what we earned a record having moved
And what are the factors that influence our decisions? what obstacles do they arise?
the queen and the king, fear and fate
"I will move the horse, because thus protecting the peon of the queen" "I have to move the pawn, for so the king of my opponent goes to there, and I can cargarmelo "
in life, tarduciria as" I will not do such a thing because if I can get me very bad consequences "Voya me stay home, because if I can move I call that phone call so I hope, and it turns out I'm not "
why we are guided always by something? that sometimes prevents us from making our own decisions?
course is also the fact, want to manage the destiny of others, as we want to control the opponent's king to get things easier, who does not like to read the mind of your opponent starting uan? who does not like to know what that person would think you? if yes, that person you consider your life but do not know what you think ...
thinking, thinking something was questioned ...
say that a person without knowing how to play chess, you can learn, and it takes great intelligence to cry a checkmate, humans can learn to play the game of your life? Is possible to defeat the king and shout strong mate! fate?
I'll keep playing ... just to know what happens
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